1. Blow into class ten minutes late looking like a drowned rat after getting stuck in a rainstorm.
2. Not do the homework because you worked “100,000 hours the week before.” When no one laughs at your bad “joke” if that’s what you want to call it, awkwardly say, “you hear me?” (Note: the person right after you will present color-coded homework that looks like it should be framed, thus making you look like an even worse student.)
3. Make sure your voice cracks during the two questions you ask.
4. Leave class early by announcing that you’re going to the Gillian Flynn event at Town Hall and then follow that up by saying that the event is sold out but that maybe they (none of whom seem to know who Gillian Flynn is, which makes sense given that everyone is writing a fantasy novel save for me) could get tickets “next time.”
I’ll try better next time, classmates. I really will.
Seattle Sunday. #discoverypark
A super funny video with Ann Brashares and Ana Gasteyer? Yes, please.
Also, I had the pleasure of meeting Ann Brashares yesterday. She’s 1000% lovelier than I’d hoped. And she’s funny. And her new book, The Here and Now, is good too.
“ Girls are trained to say, ‘I wrote this, but it’s probably really stupid.’ Well, no, you wouldn’t write a novel if you thought it was really stupid. Men are much more comfortable going, ‘I wrote this book because I have a unique perspective that the world needs to hear.’ Girls are taught from the age of seven that if you get a compliment, you don’t go, ‘Thank you’, you go, ‘No, you’re insane.’ ”
Lena Dunham, in an interview with The Guardian (x)
Happy 2nd birthday to the furriest and sassiest member of my family, Owen. #dog
To the novel I started in December but haven’t touched in 4 weeks thanks to two trips, moving, and total work-life balance disarray, let me say this: I’m coming for you, friend, and I’m about to write the F outta ya.
FYI, Seattle and WA friends (or Internet browsers): Here are the three Hobby Lobby stores in the metro Seattle area that you should stop frequenting (and maybe start protesting outside of).
Because Hobby Lobby is one of two companies claiming that “some drugs and intrauterine devices are tantamount to abortion” (perthis New York Times article) in a legal case that’s now with the Supreme Court for review.
Because somehow this “argument” has legs in the eyes of certain Justices on the Supreme Court, which means that companies may soon be able to deny women birth control coverage based on their employer’s religious beliefs.
To which I say good lord and (insert an infinite number of expletives) off.
“ I’ve grown quite weary of the spunky heroines, brave rape victims, soul-searching fashionistas that stock so many books. I particularly mourn the lack of female villains — good, potent female villains. Not ill-tempered women who scheme about landing good men and better shoes (as if we had nothing more interesting to war over), not chilly WASP mothers (emotionally distant isn’t necessarily evil), not soapy vixens (merely bitchy doesn’t qualify either). I’m talking violent, wicked women. Scary women. Don’t tell me you don’t know some. The point is, women have spent so many years girl-powering ourselves — to the point of almost parodic encouragement — we’ve left no room to acknowledge our dark side. Dark sides are important. ”